Today (on Twitter) I tweeted :

‘The most difficult part of life is losing the ones you love – but always remember the beautiful memories they leave can never be taken away’.

I was retweeted many times but I also received some messages saying that:

‘The memories are too painful’

‘It is difficult when you lose someone’

‘How do you get past the pain of losing the ones you love?’

I agree with those comments and I would like to say that there is no easy way at all.

In my experience the deeper the love, the deeper the wound, and the deeper the wound the more vivid and beautiful the memories.

Today I received a lovely message from my uncle (whom I have not met in many years) about my parents, which I would like to share with you:

“Your mum used to say the address of your home 4 Beatyville Gardens should be changed to 4 BEAUTIFUL GARDENS and that always pleased me so much.

One day I thought of getting another cheap car so that I could use that when my car went into the garage…but strangely the day I was using it I had to drop your mum somewhere and I tell you that car was not only old but it used to leak from the sides when it rained….so that day it did rain and I was so busy trying to make sure that your mum was not drenched.

Such a gentle lady as she was she never let me be embarrassed and kept saying it was fine.

Her smile was from her heart as your dad’s words were from his heart.

Pleasant memories should be always at hand.

Just sending you a poem I love


Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

This message and poem from my uncle brought tears to my eyes but it also made me smile. Everyone has memories to share, I didn’t even know about this incident yet could relate and imagine the whole scene so beautifully.

Our memories will in time help us to move forward, but to move forward we do have to ‘let go’ a little at a time.  This doesn’t mean forgetting the ones we love. I could never imagine forgetting my mum and dad both who have passed recently to a better place.  However, we do have to move forward and those that have left us would want us to make the most of our lives.

It reminds me of an anecdote that Paulo Coelho put up recently on his blog and it is very relevant to those of us who have lost someone:

‘I arrive in Madrid at eight o’clock in the morning. I will only be here a few hours, so it’s not worth phoning friends and arranging to see them. I decide to go for a walk alone in my favorite places, and I end up sitting smoking a cigarette on a bench in the Retiro Park.

‘You look miles away,’ says an old man, joining me on the bench.

‘Oh, I’m here,’ I say, ‘but I’m sitting on this same bench with a painter friend of mine, Anastasio Ranchal, 24 years ago in 1986. We are both watching my wife, Christina, who has had a bit too much to drink and is trying to dance the flamenco.’

‘Enjoy your memories,’ says the old man.

‘But don’t forget that memory is like salt: the right amount brings out the flavor in food, too much ruins it. If you live in the past all the time, you’ll find yourself with no present to remember.’

3 Responses to “Memories”
  1. Mari B. says:

    I really needed to read something like this today! Thank you so much!

  2. Dimah says:

    Missing someone means u love them… that should put a smile on your face…

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Faiz Ahmed. Faiz Ahmed said: Nice poem RT @Priyafengshui: 'If you live in the past all the time, you’ll find yourself with no present to remembe […]

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